Have you ever thought that there are other groups that can be defined in that wonderful way that Rednecks can sort things out. No, well...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside
bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat!

11. Your cousin is president of the United States

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Any town got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the towns people were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, and so on.Suddenly Satan appeared at the front of the church.Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had left the church except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving , seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Hey!! Don't you know who I am? The man replied, "Yep, sure do."Satan asked, " Aren''t you afraid of me?"."Nope, not one whit." said the man.Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "I've been married to your sister for 25 Years''

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. " I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing liberal drunk" "So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton!" "And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us".